I’ve thought this question before, and I’m know I’m not the only one out there who has! Moms especially have this thought. We are so caught up in care taking that in the few moments we have to ourselves we are flooded with everything we’ve put off processing.
Why does this happen?
Our brains and time are consumed with others. When did the kids last eat, how long have they been watching TV, when did the baby last poop, what will I feed us for dinner? And that’s just the time we spend thinking about our homes. If you work outside of the home, there is yet another “tab” (or two) open in your brain taking care of that.
It’s no wonder that we put off all the hard things that we need to process. Most of our days do not allow time for us to stop and resolve our frustration with a spouse, parent, child, or coworker. We feel like we simply need to plow full steam ahead to get the list checked off. But this leads to cloudy minds and emotional build up.
Girls night or therapy?
This very question points to the heart of the real problem. The real problem is that we need to create time and space where we are not working for someone else, whether that’s a boss or a tiny dictator in diapers. The need that the problem points to is that you’ve probably gotten lost in your roles and drifted away from the things that give you mental clarity and emotional peace.
No, but really which should I choose?
The honest answer is that it is up to you. Both will provide you space and time to remember that you are an individual and have an identity apart from your roles. A girls night will probably focus a bit more on reclaiming fun and connection in your life. Therapy will probably focus more on solving problems and restructuring your thoughts and routines in a way that better benefits you.
Whatever you decide you need, don’t put off getting it. Ask a friend or a church staffer if they know a good therapist. Text your besties and plan a night or a coffee together. Find someone to mentor you.
And please regularly carve out time to fill your soul with what it needs. For me this means waking up an hour before I need to get ready for my day in order to have coffee, Bible study (I promise both are soul-filling) and time in peace and quiet. It also means that after putting the littlest down, I seclude myself until after hubs puts the big one down. Even if it can’t look exactly like what you need, start somewhere and start today!
Good advice, friend.