This is the last, but maybe most important piece in the toddler public meltdown series. This time it’s all about how do YOU handle it when the meltdown happens, you’ve done all the things, but you’re still left toting that little screaming bundle of joy around while you finish your errand, because like–YOU HAVE TO HAVE GROCERIES TO EAT.
#1: You’re doing your best
In the words of Daniel Tiger, “Do your best, your best is the best for you!” This means you’re doing the best you can in the moment with what you have to work with. If that means that you’re not on your A-game that day because–well for whatever reason you have–that’s OK! Give yourself a break and remind yourself that you are really doing your best.
If you’re constantly dissatisfied with your best or feel like you can’t get out of survival mode ever, then stay tuned for September!
#2 Control vs. Influence
A wise professor once told me that you have control over something when you can determine the process and the outcome. You have influence over things when you can determine the process, but not the outcome. So check yourself: you can influence your toddler, but you cannot control their behavior.
You can however, control what you think about yourself and your toddler when the meltdown happens. So make the most generous assumptions possible about both of you. Meltdowns happen. You are not the first to have a toddler explode in Target, you will not be the last.
#3 Haters Gonna Hate
You can neither control nor influence what others think of you in the grocery store. So stop caring. They are strangers (most likely) so why do their judgy looks and comments get to influence your thoughts about yourself?!?
Their judgment says nothing of who you are as a mom, and everything about who they are as a person.
Their judgy-ness is their problem. You’ve done your best to influence what you can and control what you can. If they refuse to see it, then I feel sorry for them.
You’ve got this!
Really, you do. I think we’re finally breaking the facade that mothers need to be perfect and do all the things for all the people. It’s time to start extending this to our little ones. They are learning. They will get there. March on momma!