I’m trying to write and publish regularly. Which is hard with two kids; one of which likes to wake up frequently, thus stealing the precious time at night I have to be alone and an adult. As I came to my laptop tonight, I felt empty, drained, conflicted.
Empty and drained because I’ve worked all day only to come home and have to mom all night until bed times were over. And empty of ideas to put down on paper.
“producing even when the well feels dry.”
Conflicted because I could use my lack of ideas as an excuse to use this time to Netflix, or browse Facebook.
But then I realized that I would rather write down something mediocre than nothing at all. And it hit me: producing even when the well feels dry.
“Even when you feel empty, you must still produce parenting from your person.”
I feel like that encapsulates parenting so well. Even when you feel empty, you must still produce parenting from your person. I have to remain calm in discipline, attentive to basic needs, reflective emotionally, and attuned.
I do this all so imperfectly, so we can add self-grace to the list of things I must produce.
“And in the amazing trance-like stillness that happens between contractions, the Lord whispered to me,”
When I was in labor with Charlie, I progressed very quickly, giving me little time to adjust to the growing intensity of the contractions. At one point I started to panic, wondering how I would get to the end. And in the amazing trance-like stillness that happens between contractions, the Lord whispered to me that He gives me enough rest to get through the next contraction. Not the next 2 or 5, or until the end: the next one. Then He gives rest to get to the next one. And so the cycle continues.
In the days of SO. MANY. night time wakings and constant toddler needs I go back to the lessoned learned in labor. The Lord provides enough to get through the next thing. The rest isn’t as automatic as what the body does in labor. It takes purposeful living to find the small moments of rest. But they’re there.
Jehovah Jireh. The Lord provides.
Just as any good piece of music is incomplete without rests, so is life. It is not meant to be a constant pounding out of production of product. We are made to live out loud, and rest and recharge before going back to producing things. It is the dance between resting and playing that produces a beautiful piece of music. It is the dance between resting and doing that produces a beautiful life.